Contributor
Shamiso Patience Mbiriri
48 stories
The Unbreakable Cycle
There are moments when it just seems easier to detach our past from our present and future lives. At some point the cycle seems broken and the idea of learning something positive from that past for the sake of a brighter future seems impossible.
The Hotter it Gets, the Stronger you Become
No two stories are the same no matter how alike they seem. Everyone has their own version, but it is always easier to paint the whole world based on what you are familiar with. Whether you think your pain is worse or lighter, at the end of the day, pain is pain.
Inspiration: Bogolo Joy Kenewendo
Economist and politician Bogolo Joy Kenewendo is at the top of her game. Her latest appointment to the Botswana Cabinet seat by Botswana’s current President Mokgweetsi Masisi as the Minister of Investment, Trade and Industry is being celebrated at home and abroad particularly because, at 31, she is the youngest minister ever recorded in Botswana’s history.
Someone Has Your Back
There is something about pain that easily clouds one’s judgment. And in that moment, nothing else matters.I have been here before. I was trying to get over a heartbreak and it was not easy. I was convinced that no one would understand.
Dear Secret Admirer...
When you look at my life through your eyes, all you probably see is perfection and it humbles me in so many ways. It is generally easier to build a perception of someone based on the idea that the one moment they made an impression will recur throughout their life.
Expectations vs. Reality - One Size Doesn't Fit All
There is nothing more difficult than walking in someone else’s shoes. There is a lot that is usually overlooked and yet every detail matters. We barely have the same footing even when we are wearing the same shoe and are headed in the same direction. Hence, the same pair of shoes will never feel the same way to everyone.
The Thoughts of an Insecure, Troubled Soul
They say everyone is beautiful in their own way, everyone is unique, everyone is important, everyone is valuable, everyone should be comfortable in their own skin, and so on. They say a lot of things suggesting I am beautiful and somehow that is supposed to make me feel good about myself.
Dear Insecure Dreamer...
Each time I listen to a success story being told, there seems to be a subtle element of competition in almost every one of these stories.
Progress is Progress
There are times when things are not as straightforward as we think they should be. When expected results aren’t achieved, an explanation doesn’t seem good enough. Don’t blame yourself. If you can see some progress then it is worth celebrating. And there is no need for you to be apologetic about it. There is always someone tracking your progress whether you have asked for their
Dear Dreamer...
You have probably envisioned your “happily ever after” based on your dream. You have a clear picture of where you are headed, but the question is what is the next step? How will you get there? Without a plan or strategy, your dream will always be just a dream.
We Are Way Better Together
I have always been a particular kind of girl. For the greater part of my life, my preference was the only beauty I knew. Everyone else’s taste failed to impress me. I guess we have all felt this way at one point or another.
The Journey is as Important as the Destination
There are times when it seems easier to just fit in and live according to others’ opinion, even when it’s far from what you want. I still don’t understand how one gets to this point of desperacy where being true to one’s self is suddenly not satisfactory, and the rest of the world has to determine your every step. It’s not that difficult to just go with the flow, but it is diff
Be Your Own Fan
Sometimes your life will take an unexpected turn and everything and everyone around you will seem new. Your story suddenly changes and not everyone will understand or believe you. Your transformation is questioned all the time and your testimony is based on other people’s success or failure stories. The truth is, some stories are hard to share and can only be explained after an
Her Pain is my Testimony
I vividly remember my mother’s words each time I would infuriate her. I had no idea what she meant at the time, but I got so used to hearing her words that I would imitate her. After all, I had been hearing them all my life.
Exposed to the Same Sun
Inasmuch as we are all different, it is common for people to expect the same results from different people simply based on the fact that their situations are seemingly the same. Ironically, so many have been disappointed because their results differed.
A Closed Mouth Doesn't Get Fed
I think I am one of the few people who are intrigued by things that least fascinate others. I am reminded of that frequently and often end up thinking that I am weird. Weird or not, I am who I am today because of that – the woman who draws lessons from everything and everyone around her. In fact, some of my greatest life’s lessons have been drawn from toddlers while they were c
Compromise Isn't Always the Answer
Sometimes it’s difficult to understand compromise, and how it can derail you from your goals. Boundaries are constantly being shifted every now and then to temporarily suit whoever deems it necessary. We are generally easily swayed to the extent that it is difficult to stand for what we believe in without giving in to some form of pressure. We claim we all have our standards bu
Wisdom From the "Inexperienced" Might Just be the Advice You Need
Sometimes I wonder about the old adage, “there is wisdom in grey hair.” It seems the implication is that sound advice only comes from the elderly, and the young should wait until they are “of age” to be considered wise. Some then choose to live their lives guided by the mantra, “experience is the best teacher” to the extent that the only advice that matters to them is the one c
Rigid, They Say? I Disagree
People say there is a thin line between being principled and being rigid. The line is so fine that the two are often carelessly equated. I am constantly reminded of this when I see women being judged harshly for their decisions and for standing up for what they believe. Imagine a life where one spends their whole life explaining being true to themself? There was a time I actual
My Weight loss Journey: Negative Feedback is Not Your Enemy
There are moments when we unintentionally put ourselves in the spotlight not because we want to, but because we are genuinely trying to better ourselves. Somehow in these moments, your achievement suddenly becomes the center of attention and so does the rest of your life. For the greater part of this journey, I have had more than enough company to help me pull through, but I wa
Dear Spectator...
I have discovered that the common feuds that exist between a spectator and a player have lived on for as long as I can remember, and solving them won’t be easy without cooperation from the parties involved. In all genuineness, both perspectives are valid and based on where each one stands. But I guess what matters at the end of the day is how each view can be useful and for wha
Note to Self: I Am a Role Model
There are so many things I wish I had known earlier in my life. So many decisions I wish I could remake if time and chance permitted. I probably long for that now because I am burdened by the weight of knowing that I will forever be someone’s role model. To be honest, I was a role model before I even realized it, and I guess I underestimated the impact I had on others. That cha
Fear Tells a Lot of Lies
There are some things in life that are simple. We just complicate them because we’re afraid to explore our capabilities. So many things we proclaim we're unable to deliver are just a result of our limited imagination. We don’t fail because we cannot do something. We fail because we have destined ourselves to fail. This reminds me of my final year in high school. The whole schoo
Dear Future Me...
To date, I’ve lived up to the expectations of the woman I envisioned myself to be almost three decades ago. I certainly had no idea that I would stick to that dream, but I did anyway. What I did was remember the woman I had set out to become. It’s funny how I had it all figured out, from the stages I was going to grace, the style of fashion I would gravitate to, to the kind of
Fighting Limitations
The world has a tendency of placing limitations on us before we have the chance to prove our capabilities. Sadly, we often give in and accept these limitations and sometimes even participate in gender discrimination by placing those same limitations on the next woman. In the end, many women never realize their full potential.
My Weight Loss Journey - Challenge On Repeat
I don’t quite understand why we sometimes think one accomplishment is enough to cover us for a lifetime. For some reason, it’s easy to think that achieving a certain goal makes us masters, and that we’ll never be faced with such a milestone again. Then, the moment one challenge seems to recur, it’s easier to conclude that it’s one’s fate and destiny. I really wish life could be
Dear Bud,
One thing I always try to tell every woman I meet is that the magnificence of every flower is only seen when it blossoms. Before a bud blooms, it has no footprint of any significance no matter how many people know of its potential beauty. I’ve heard many talented people say they’re waiting for the right opportunity to start making a living out of their gifts, and how they’re wa
My Weight Loss Journey - Trust The Process
Each time someone posted a picture of their weight loss transformation, I was curious how long it took them to see results. I was really getting impatient. Four weeks into my weight loss journey, no one was saying anything or even acknowledging that I was making progress. I was almost sure that my plan wasn’t working. This was far from the truth. I was comparing myself to other
How I Stumbled Into Writing And Found My Footing
Seeing doctors going about their duties intrigued me as a young girl. I avidly recall dreaming about owning a medical facility of my own and being a medical practitioner. The idea of writing was out of the question. The only other two things I loved were public speaking and music. Clutching my ordinary level result slip in my hands, a smile broadened on my face as I realized th
You Are Not Your Mistakes
A trial never affects two people the same way. Some come out on the other side with visible scars, others are barely scratched and only they know what they have been through, and some have no story to tell at all. The same can be said of a woman’s life. There are situations where they simply can’t hide their mistakes - while men seem to walk away scott free - no matter how hard
Dear Expectant Dreamer...
The struggles that women go through are no secret. The journey to success for a woman is not a stroll in the park. Tears will be shed, accusations will be carelessly thrown towards them, discouragement will become the norm of the day…the list is endless. Be that as it may, the assumption that women understand each other’s hustle better than men do and will, therefore, be more s
My Weight Loss Journey: Stick To The Plan, They'll Get Used To It
With time, people started noticing some changes. I didn’t have to say anything about my weight loss plan because the results were noticeable. Each time I ran into old friends, there were 3 statements I became accustomed to hearing them say:
Dear Fearless Dreamer...
Have you ever wondered why people will sometimes push you into doing something you strongly feel is far from what you’ve ever envisioned for yourself? Many people have nervously explored uncharted territory and discovered that this new venture is what they were looking for all along.
My Weight Loss Journey - Know Yourself
I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, and I knew I had to be consistent. I also knew I had a friend to help me through, but I didn’t know that I would feel like giving up during the first week of my journey! I was committed to my plan but started experiencing unbearable chest pain and shortness of breath each time I exercised. I remembered my doctor’s words to my parents the last
Spoiler Alert: The 'Right Time' You've Been Waiting For Isn't Coming
I never understood why some people are so concerned with pushing others to seize certain opportunities when they can see how much you’re struggling in your current situation. Quite often they say, “If you keep waiting for the right time, it may never come.” I didn’t understand it until the day I was in a situation where the right time just wasn’t presenting itself. Having dropp
You Have The Right To Be Different
People talk about flowers and their seasons in relation to a woman’s life. Every decision a young woman makes is too often accompanied by the following reminder: “Remember you are a girl and you will soon wither. You can forgo these other things for now…” “This is not the time for you to be furthering your education. Why don’t you settle down first then you can talk about educa
Womanhood Is Not A Curse
The other day I was a guest on Zimbabwe’s National Broadcasting Channel to talk about my book that I recently published. I asked to receive the interview questions in advance so I could prepare, but for some reason the host of the show was not forthcoming and I decided to just let it go. Little did I know I was walking into what I call "an ambush of the feminine pride". The fir
My Weight loss Journey - The Gift of Friendship
By Dec. 31, 2016, I was just a few hours away from starting my plan but felt something was missing. A part of me was excited, but another part of me was skeptical. Could I really do this? I started wondering whether this would be a waste of time - maybe I’d fail again.
My Tears Don’t Mean I’m Not Strong
We keep hearing the same message phrased differently over and over again: Big girls don’t cry. I came across three different women all going through the same pain, the same experience and the same stigma. They were all trying to deal with the pain of being sexually abused, but of course, those around them felt they were doing it the wrong way. Grace had been told more than once
Second Chances - Grab that Opportunity
It’s quite sad how we are sometimes so quick to conclude that we have failed in life when we still have a whole life ahead of us. There is a general misconception that if we don’t get our way the first time, we have failed. As a result, many dreams remain unfulfilled. I’ve refused to subscribe to this line of thinking and believe that as long as I'm alive, I still have a second
The Day I Earned My First Few Dollars
Many people ask me how I made it at a very tender age, how I got to know I was talented and how my work commanded so much respect despite my age. I always tell them that this was no miracle. My childhood was mainly dominated by an inferiority complex. I was obsessed with proving I was good enough, so I made sure that a day didn’t go by without acquiring a new skill and perfecti
My Weight Loss Journey - Getting Started
By October 2016, I had made the decision that I was going to work on my weight but getting started was a different story altogether. It took me two good months to get the plan in motion, so my weight loss journey didn’t officially begin until January. I promised myself I wasn’t going to rush into anything that I did not fully understand, so I needed time to get to that stage. I
Dear "I'm-Not-Good-Enough"...
It’s sad how suddenly all your confidence was stripped from you and you were left naked in shame and insecurities. Before you met him, you were your own fan and nothing was strong enough to pull you down, which is why this turnaround is so puzzling. The day you met him, you lost yourself and everything became all about him. Is that what love is truly about?
Stop Chasing the Wrong Dream
From the tender age of four, the spirit of competitiveness was instilled in me. I remember spelling contests and memory tests were held each time we had family gatherings. At times it would go as far as comparing end of term school reports, and the one who scored the best in all subjects would be rewarded. The first time I lost, I cried myself to sleep and felt humiliated. Bein
My Weight Loss Journey – My Turning Point
On January 1st, when everyone else was customarily defining their resolutions and goals for the new year, I decided to take action and change my life, too. I was tired of being labeled ignorant and being described by nothing more than my physical appearance. I wasn’t bothered when strangers would refer to me as “the fat girl,” but I didn’t know how to feel when friends and fami
Pain Serves One Purpose: To Grab Your Attention
When I walked into the hospital, I wasn’t expecting anything more than simply easing my pain. Besides, the decision to visit the doctor was by no means voluntary. Pain gave me no choice. I had envisioned a friendly session with the doctor. In my mind, all the doctor had to do was give me a chance to explain my situation then prescribe the right medication. Imagine my disappoint
Dear Broken Flower...
You've heard them share how their dignity was robbed from them as if that is nothing. They share their stories as if they have no shame and as if that story will not affect people’s perception of them. They talk of how they were raped and how they moved on as if they are telling a bedtime story. They recite their stories as if they are describing a movie and as if they are at p
My Pain is my Powerhouse
I constantly seem questionable each time I talk of pain as my source of inspiration. Some feel I have no idea what I am talking about, while others feel I am still young and I lack enough life experience. Hence, I get this question a lot: “What do you know about pain? Aren’t you too young?” I am not a stranger to pain. I have felt it, experienced it, seen it and I choose not to